With the pregnancy of our child going well we had to make decisions from the very start, ie, the choice of having scans, etc.  From pregnancy through birth to nurturing a baby in the precious first few months, the goals of Michelle and I can be surmised to;

• GET INFORMED!  From scans to delivery, making effective and well informed decisions about how to manage the birth in a world of disinformation
• UNDERSTAND HOW TO SUPPORT MICHELLE My role in pregnancy, birth and the following recovery
• UNDERSTAND HOW TO SUPPORT OTHER FATHERS
• TRANSITION CHILD GENTLY INTO THE WORLD
• ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION Natural infant hygiene from the word go!
• ATTACHMENT PARENTING Learning how to truly nurture a young child

We researched various ways of relating to childbirth, pregnancy and raising children- to see what we felt most aligned to, what inspired us and also to investigate potential problems and risks.

Quite clear that we wanted the most "hands off", simple and natural pregnancy and birth, our main focus was getting clear about potential myths and dispelling myths surrounding childbirth and development in our culture.  From the beginning we knew we wanted to employ an independent midwife who we related with in terms of perspective and outlook.

We felt drawn to water births due to the gentle transition involved for the baby, and relaxing safe space created for the mother.

Due to the confines of our boat we were keen to have the birth on land, either in one of my yurts, or somewhere peaceful at least!  Early in the pregnancy we visited a friend who is a trainee midwife, attending a birth film evening.  This led us to make contact with a local male midwife who specialised in difficult births in the travelling community in the South of Spain.  Feeling some connection through this we decided to secure the services of a private midwife, which , whilst expensive, can offer an experience that is a world away from conventional birthing in terms of intimacy, environment and personal management of the birth.

We also checked out NHS Birth Centres, which are NHS midwife run, but were deterred by the "unhomely" sterile clinical environment and some of the procedures that come with the health service.

At festivals over the summer we came across the radical midwives tent, attended pregnancy classes and met midwives who were fairly local.  One midwife extended Herself to us and we started a dialogue about the birth.  I immediately enjoyed Taras` perspective and presence and we slowly started building a relationship with Her.

There were several key elements to achieving our goals!

• Secure services of an independent midwife
• Sell yurt to raise the capital
• Water Birth A place to be for birth
• Both parents at home during pregnancy and first few months at least
• Format for introducing Elimination Communication
• Baby Carriers- Keep baby on one of us 90% of time
• Connect with networks of Mums For support and clothes shares

We connected with a midwife with links to the radical midwife group at the Sunrise festival in the UK.  Tara resonated with both of us in terms of her worldview and consideration for how we wished to run the birthing process.  Taras website is linked below.

Over the following weeks we carefully planned and explored the various options that exist around home child birth, both well known and obscure!  We developed a clear idea of what would be most preferable, and surrendered to the notion that ultimately the child decides how and when to move!  You can see a slideshow of the birth process below.  Its a very intimate and personal occasion, so please only watch if you are excited by birthing and childcare.

The birth could not have gone much smoother!  We feel very blessed both at the simplicity and grace with which the whole process transpired.  Michelle handled the intensity of the transition with deep composure and stability.  It was a joy to behold- what pure and indescribable wonder!

Heres a video of baby Grace at age 4 months, her gurgling laughter echoing around our boat is the theme-song to the whole first few months of her life during which Michelle and I remained "at home".

During this period, the first few months of Graces life, we practiced both elimination communication and attachment parenting.  Elimination communication has been a very useful technique for easing work and supporting Grace to make her own choices from an early age.  It involves making a que sound as whenever a baby goes to the toilet.  After a while, once you have observed a babies "pattern language" and understood when they usually go to the toilet, you can offer an opportunity with the associated que.  This has proved very simple and has saved us a huge amount of washing, particularly useful whilst living on the canal where water tanks are limited!

Attachment parenting has revolved around co- sleeping, (which we are still enjoying at nearly 9 months!) and baby- wearing.  Grace has been on one of our bodies nearly continuously for several months, prolonging and enriching the bonding process with both of us.  This has been enjoyable, especially for me to be able to have Grace sleep on me even though I am not feeding her.

Below is a video of Grace exploring the world.  In her short life she has followed us around SE Asia, the US and the UK as we follow our busy teaching schedule.  She seems totally at ease, rarely cries, even through teething, and has a very warm and kind temperament.